More proof that God has to be female

...And God promised men
that good and obedient wives
would be found in all corners of the world..

Then She made the earth round
and laughed and laughed and laughed.. .. .. .

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I had a gal tell me that when God created man, she was only joking.


My reply was, "Really?.......................................... .....













..................................well who is the joke on?"




The smile left her face pretty fast.

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I'd rather meander for the prevention than race for the cure.

..........

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"We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." ~Immanual Kant~

If this thread were antiwoman jokes, I doubt they'd be around for long.

God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for Me."

Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?"

God said, "Go down into that valley."

Adam said, "What's a valley?"

God explained it to him.


Then God said, "Cross the river."

Adam said, "What's a river?"

God explained that to him, and then said, "Go over to the hill....."

Adam said, "What is a hill?"

So, God explained to Adam what a hill was. He told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave."

Adam said, 'What's a cave?'

After God explained, He said, "In the cave you will find a woman."

Adam said, "What's a woman?'

So God explained that to him, too. Then, God said, 'I want you to reproduce."

Adam said, "How do I do that?"

God first said (under His breath), "Geez....."

And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well.

So, Adam goes down into the valley,

across the river, and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman.

Then, in about five minutes, he was back.

God, his patience wearing thin, said angrily, "What is it now?"

And Adam said....


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"What's a headache?"

You ain't jokin', they'd get zapped presto magic! Just kidding

There's alot of female gender specific jokes sprinkled through the pages of this HUMOR forum. Take a look.. blond jokes, 'That's When The Fighting Began' jokes, and such. Most of the guys on NMT have a GREAT sense of humor and are married so they get a chuckle out of them. They're jokes, ya know?

I'm on another site where there's a 'gender war' thread, so posting these to one thread here makes them easier to find when I need ammo

Start a new thread and see.
















Better check with your wife first.

..........

...............

A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful lady fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."

"Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife. The fairy moved her magic wand and - abracadabra! - two tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.

Now it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so, I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me".

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish...

So the fairy made a circle with her magic wand and -abracadabra! the husband was 92 years old.

Why were shopping carts invented?

To teach women to walk on their hind legs.

That's just wrong......

A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.

When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.

Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" To which he replied, "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

You think it is funny for women married to stupid men to deal with them violently? Oh, my...

You think it's funny that shopping carts were made to teach women to walk of their hind legs is funny, oh...dear...

It's a joke Samia!!! I'm not talking about domestic violence here!