A list of headlines that actually made it into print.

"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers"
Keeping busy: Mets agree with Church, Pagan
"Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?"
"Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder"
"Iraqi Head Seeks Arms"
"Panda Mating Fails, Veterinarian Takes Over"
"Child's Stool Great for Use in Garden"
"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"
"Tiger Woods Plays With Own Balls, Nike Says"
"Kicking Baby Considered to be Healthy"
"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"
"Psychics Predict World Didn't End Yesterday"
"Sun or Rain Expected Today, Dark Tonight"
"Statistics Show That Teen Pregnancy Drops off "Significantly After Age 25"
"Jane Fonda to Teens: Use Head to Avoid Pregnancy"
"Circumcisions Cause Crybabies"
"Clinton Apologizes to Syphilis Victims"
"Student Excited Dad Got Head Job"

Too Funny Mad Scientest!!

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"We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." ~Immanual Kant~

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~Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted~

~Miners Refuse To Work After Death~

~Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant~

~War Dims Hope for Peace~

~If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile~

~Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures~

~Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide~

~Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge~

~New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group~

~Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft~

~Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half~

~Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents~

Both sets of Headlines are hilarious; Thanks both of you for great laughs!

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May you always have..Love to Share, Health to Spare, and Friends that Care!

"Student Excited Dad Got Head Job"
"Tiger Woods Plays With Own Balls, Nike Says"

LMAO!!! ;-D Best laugh I've had all week, thanks!