Hello, I am an 18 year old male who has been dating a girl of the same age for a few weeks now, and we are both already very into each other. We have not had intercourse yet, but we have had "love play" on several occasions now, which usually includes using our hands only.

So far, every time my girlfriend pleasures me, I love it very much. Recently, she performed oral sex on me, and that was equally pleasurable. The only problem is that every time we've done this, I cannot reach climax.

This has been weighing down on me and lowering my self confidence pretty drastically. And now, whenever she reaches down to do anything, I usually shy away from it because I'm worried I won't be able to climax.

This is really taking a toll on me, although she seems to be at least content with the theory that it will get better over time. I sort of am as well, but I'd like to know if there's any rhyme or reason to why I cannot ejaculate. I think it may be because I masturbate too much, and I openly admit to it.

One more thing. After she pleasured me today and I ONCE AGAIN couldn't climax, she left and I felt physically okay. But a few minutes later, my testicles and lower back were on fire with terrible pain, and I could barely walk. I assume this was a bad case of build up of semen, known also as 'blue balls', but it was terribly painful. If anyone can give me any reassurance on that as well, I'd be very grateful.

Thanks for reading, and if you know anything, please let me know.

Hey dude,

This could be as much of a mental problem as anything else.

I bet when your messing around the main thing your thinking about now is whether you'll climax and not actually enjoying the act?

do you have problems climaxing by yourself?

And just how is this supposed to help with his problem?

Don't mind him dude...

Yes, it could be more mental than anything else. If you are so focused and worried about not "getting there" then you probably won't get there...

Although, how you can be thinking about that as you're getting oral performed on you is beyond me....

Also, quick question, when this is going on, are you both still sort of wearing clothes?

I found (at least for me) if there isn't at least down to bra and undies that it doesn't do it for me.. Getting pleasured (no matter how good) froma fully clothed woman is not really appealing.. If at all possible, get stripped down so you are both butt nekkid, THEN see what happens