01-19-2010, 04:57 PM
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Graduate
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Out of sight
Posts: 237
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The Darwin Awards
>>> The Darwins are out!!!!
>>>
.
>>> .
>>> Happy New Year! ! !
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the
>>> Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
>>>
>>>
>>> Here is the glorious winner:
>>>
>>> 1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his
>>> intended victim during a hold-up in Provo , Utah would-be robber Jason
>>> Ellison did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
>>> barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
>>>
>>> And now, the honorable mentions:
>>>
>>> 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a
>>> meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a
>>> claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent
>>> out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and
>>> he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
>>>
>>> 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for
>>> his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a
>>> woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
>>>
>>> 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean
>>> bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
>>> transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped... Not wanting to
>>> admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered
>>> everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to
>>> the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
>>> excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
>>> discovered for 3 days.
>>>
>>> 5.. A teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
>>> head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
>>> the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
>>> close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
>>>
>>> 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on
>>> the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash
>>> drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register,
>>> which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk
>>> and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash
>>> he got from the drawer... $15. If someone points a gun at you and gives
>>> you money, is a crime committed?
>>>
>>> 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He
>>> decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store
>>> window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and
>>> heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and
>>> hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor
>>> store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on
>>> videotape.
>>>
>>> 8. As a female shopper exited a South Carolina convenience
>>> store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911
>>> immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description
>>> of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher.
>>> They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then
>>> taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which
>>> he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse
>>> from."
>>>
>>> 9.. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
>>> walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a
>>> gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
>>> couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man
>>> ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
>>> breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
>>>*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD
>>> WINNER
>>>
>>> 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor
>>> home parked on an Atlanta street, he got much more than he bargained
>>> for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next
>>> to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the
>>> man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose
>>> into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
>>> declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever
>>> had.
>>> In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these
>>> with friends and family....unless of course one of these individuals by
>>> chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad
>>> they are distant and hope they remain lost.
>>>
>>>
>>> *** Remember....
>>> They walk among us, they vote, and they breed!!!***
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Awards
Oooh they were funny to read!
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