Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer's
accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian
equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This is a true story.
Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award.


Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in
Block 3 of the accident report form. I put 'poor planning' as the
cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust
the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working
alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my
work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed
later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than
carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by
using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building
on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel
out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the
rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You
will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135
lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I
proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the
vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now
proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the
fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed
in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until
the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was
able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience
pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight
of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you
again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down
the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This
accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the
pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks,
in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of
mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel
begin its journey back down onto me.
This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.

Kevin Roben
Glass & Aluminum Pty Ltd
PO Box 5004 ( 11 Dobney Ave )
Wagga Wagga NSW 2650

__________________
Doctors give drugs of which they know little,
into bodies, of which they know less,
for diseases of which they know nothing at all.
Voltaire

Brick layers learn their trade by trowel and error.