Sorry you think this is a joke! I thought I was dealing with adults here on a serious subject and that we could all perhaps learn some useful info, but instead I get a juvenile smart remark. What good does a "bitching" attitude do anyone, including yourself saved1986? Never mind, I'll research this elsewhere.

Uh? No comment!

JanH, I may be wrong, but I don't think that Saved1986 thought it was a big joke. I think it's an unusual request from your boyfriend for you to douch after oral sex, and I would like to know his reasoning behind it.

I can't see any reason whatsoever to douch with vinegar or anything else after oral sex. Douching should be done very rarely, if at all. It upsets the delicate balance of the vaginal flora (beneficial organisms), which help regulate the pH balance. Here's a site with just a bit of info. Personally, if it were me, if would not do it, it's a bad idea and completely unnecessary.

https://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/douching.pdf

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"We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." ~Immanual Kant~

Thank you. His reasoning is that his mouth is full of germs and he doesn't want to transmit any possible infection to me. I told him I didn't think it was a good idea, but he insisted it is. I've researched more and it definitely seems not only not necessary, but actually harmful. I've passed that info on to him and he says he'll go with the experts' opinions.

I'm glad he's open-minded, and not pressuring you to do it. There's germs everywhere, but douching will probably cause more likelihood of infection, because the vagina's protective natural lining will be destroyed/removed.

Jan, you're a lucky woman!


The bf could be proactive by using an antiseptic mouthwash & brush his teeth prior if it would make him feel better.

Antiseptic mouthwash:

1 tbls of 3% hydrogen peroxide solution (use only 3%)
1 cup water

30-60 seconds

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That 3% will kill most germs. I think he is worrying too much though.

To all you ladies, yes, I am indeed a VERY lucky woman! I'm 63 and have had miserable relationships with every man I've been involved with, even gave up totally for 16 years. My BF is turning 75 next week and is THE most giving, kind, loving, thoughtful man I've ever known. He lives 90 miles away, yet is happy to drive it to see me. I could go on and on. I think I'm going to buy some of the citricidal mouthwash to have him use; I think it will make HIM feel more secure about the situation. I wasn't worried at all until he brought this up. Thank you for the input.

I hate to ask this, but is it possible that he has an std, that he is hiding from you? For a man that worried about cleansing after oral sex, I would want to know why, what could I catch from him???? Do you have regular sex? does he have concerns with that or use condoms? Is it possible that he might have some type of disease that he is trying to not give you? (Im sorry, Im always the worry wort!!)

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God is and all is well
~John Greenleaf Whittier~

Anything's possible of course, but I firmly believe that's not the case. We "sort of" have regular sex (more for our emotional satisfaction of him managing to be inside me and his physical pleasure), but mostly he uses his fingers and mouth on me and he's the most fantastic lover I've ever known, happily spending literally hours giving me orgasm after orgasm with little concern for his own pleasure. He had prostate cancer, but has an artificial pump built into his "plumbing." This enables him to have some erection, but he's lost most of that as well as most of the size of his "pride and joy." Fortunately he can still orgasm. We do not use condoms. We discussed all this at the beginning and, unless I'm the worst judge of men in the world (again possible, based on my past track record with men!), he's honestly concerned for my safety based exactly on what he says. I have a number of health problems and he doesn't want to add to my struggles. We've been together for months now and certainly nothing even remotely has shown up, nor have I ever caught him in even the tiniest of lies. Of course HIV takes many years, but at our ages, we may both be dead of something else by the time that would manifest itself.

Herpes doesn't rear its ugly head often either..

He sounds like a Prince, I'm happy for you after having such a tough time w/men.

Dating's out for me at the moment and probably won't include it in my social life for awhile. Sooooo it's about time to do some shopping & buy some toys Somebody suggested 'The Rabbit' Funny thing is, I don't even know where there's an adult store near me.

The reason I'm retreating ~ (long story short) right after my divorce a few years ago everybody & their brother insisted on fixing me up with single guys who they thought were perrrrrfect for me. Granted, some were hotttt but the whole idea was so forced and fake to me. And i got bored/tired of listening to their overly rehersed resumes & one even lied about smoking (so stupid) blahhh
Anyway, I met a guy from SC at the shore & we hit it off great, guess because it wasn't forced & just happened naturally. Within 4 months, he asked me to marry him. Now mind you, I was still at the stage where the relationship is new & exciting.....so that ended Lol. Then I met a cool guy from TN when i was in cape cod and within 3 dates, he popped the question too! What's goin' on with guys?!
When you're the laid back type & go into things without any preconceptions, life is a fun, rewarding thing to slowly watch unfold. A friend accused me of becoming gun shy, a committment phobe and dumb because the SC guy is wealthy hahaha
I'm just old fashioned & need to be courted (or whatever it's called) longer than the average bear (or at least a year!)

Sorry to say, the boyfriend dumped me in a cowardly and cruel way on Wednesday, AND he'd been cheating on me for much of the time we'd been dating. Guess not such a prince afterall! Life goes on and I'll chalk it up, yet again, to educational expenses!

Sorry to hear that JanH. But...on the more positive side, it's good that he dumped you now instead of later, and you didn't waste too much of your time with him. If he's a player, hope he didn't leave you any "gifts", I get checked out just to be on the safe side. I'd rather be alone than with someone like that. I've been married to a wonderful man over 34 years now, and I count my blessings everyday.

Yes, definitely good that I found out what he was really like. I'd rather be alone than that too. It's just so incredibly discouraging when I FINALLY thought I'd found a good one! As an interesting aside, seven of the eight people I know who met him while we were dating (I haven't talked to the eighth yet) now tell me that they felt very uneasy around him or had bad vibes from him, one said he seemed arrogant and controlling only on two minutes' chat (and this woman never has anything bad to say about anyone). All say that he SEEMED good, and since we'd been so happy together for nearly six months, they thought they must be wrong. Something definitely amiss there, so I'm definitely better off with him out of my life. Makes me seriously doubt my judgment when I saw nothing seriously wrong with him, really thought he was so wonderful. One woman says he seemed to be good at projecting whatever he wanted, yet some darkness in him came through. Sigh....

Being your friends, they probably gave him the benefit of the doubt and since you seemed so happy, they didn't want to hurt your feelings or 'rain on your parade'. I'm sure he had a Jekyll & Hyde thing going on, and was used to putting on a false front. Too bad for him, the creep blew a good thing with a nice lady.