So ive got OCD tendencies big time.. in general ive been doing really well lately (in life) but this past week my OCD flared up again and its made me realize how much of my days are spent worrying.. its really exhausting.
90% of my fears are health based... mostly fears of injuring myself. For example, the other day, I accidentally touched my nose a bit too hard.. then started thinking 'what if i damaged my nose and my breathing is messed up for life' etc. which I know is totally illogical, but knowing that doesnt make the though disappear.. then I make the mistake of trying to re-assure myself.. 'theres no way you could damage your nose just form touching it too hard' etc. but all that seems to do is keep the fear alive.. then another mistake I make is trying to relive the original fear inducing event and approach it with a more rational mind.. so ill touch my nose again the same way and try and re-assure myself.. "see its not doing anything bad" .. but it just starts the same cycle of irrational thoughts over again.. This is just one example to give you an idea of the process but it repeats itself over and over again all day long many days.. unless im absorbed in something else.. but whenever I have free time by my self and nothing to do I get in to trouble. Its so exhausting.. its like it never stops? all day long im contending with my fear based mind instead of living in the moment.. it really sucks.. I think ive had tendencies like this since I was a little kid but the past few years its gotten a lot worse..
I was going out with a girl for a couple years and I had a lot of jealousy problems.. which I now realize were fueled by OCD.. everyday she was at work I would wonder if she was having sex with a co-worker etc.. and come up with these crazy ideas.. and stress myself out, but I never had any proof of such a thing happening and I really loved her..
The problem is.. I feel like I understand the OCD process, but when it goes on all day long - if you slip up a bit its so easy to get stuck back in a cycle of fear.
Anyone else been through this? Any advice? Im living my life as healthy as I can, I dont do drugs or drink - I try my best to eat really well and exercise and sleep well.. Is this from an imbalance in my brain on a physical level, or a physiological level.. are my neurotransmitters out of wack - or have I just found myself in a larger cycle or habit..
90% of my fears are health based... mostly fears of injuring myself. For example, the other day, I accidentally touched my nose a bit too hard.. then started thinking 'what if i damaged my nose and my breathing is messed up for life' etc. which I know is totally illogical, but knowing that doesnt make the though disappear.. then I make the mistake of trying to re-assure myself.. 'theres no way you could damage your nose just form touching it too hard' etc. but all that seems to do is keep the fear alive.. then another mistake I make is trying to relive the original fear inducing event and approach it with a more rational mind.. so ill touch my nose again the same way and try and re-assure myself.. "see its not doing anything bad" .. but it just starts the same cycle of irrational thoughts over again.. This is just one example to give you an idea of the process but it repeats itself over and over again all day long many days.. unless im absorbed in something else.. but whenever I have free time by my self and nothing to do I get in to trouble. Its so exhausting.. its like it never stops? all day long im contending with my fear based mind instead of living in the moment.. it really sucks.. I think ive had tendencies like this since I was a little kid but the past few years its gotten a lot worse..
I was going out with a girl for a couple years and I had a lot of jealousy problems.. which I now realize were fueled by OCD.. everyday she was at work I would wonder if she was having sex with a co-worker etc.. and come up with these crazy ideas.. and stress myself out, but I never had any proof of such a thing happening and I really loved her..
The problem is.. I feel like I understand the OCD process, but when it goes on all day long - if you slip up a bit its so easy to get stuck back in a cycle of fear.
Anyone else been through this? Any advice? Im living my life as healthy as I can, I dont do drugs or drink - I try my best to eat really well and exercise and sleep well.. Is this from an imbalance in my brain on a physical level, or a physiological level.. are my neurotransmitters out of wack - or have I just found myself in a larger cycle or habit..