• Due to lack of activities, this forum is set to be closed at the end of this month (Aug 31), the forum has been set to read-only mode. Thanks for all your support over the years!

Everything Results in Higher Stress

naturallife

New member
Joined
Aug 19, 2011
Hi everyone,

God willing you guys can maybe direct me to some info that can help. I find that what may normally cause a stress level of say, "3", for someone else, might cause me a stress lvel of "6".

For example, everytime I have some relationship issues and my significant other ignores me for a while, as hard as I try to fight it i feel a tingle throughout my body, and my fingertips start getting dry and cracking (doctor told me that was due to stress).

How can I keep myself more calm and avoid this exceptionally high stress levels for not so high 'stress events'? thanks!
 

naturallife

New member
Joined
Aug 19, 2011
Original Poster
The stress that you are talking about is a result of the meaning you are putting to your partner ignoring you. You (like everyone) ask yourself why are they ignoring me and you supply the answer - 'they are ignoring me because .....' So you are presuming you know the answer. Please realise you are asking and answering the question. If you perseive the event (ignoring) as negative then you have to supply a negative answer and hence you will feel rejected and now because you are feeling rejected you are stressed. You will aslo run through all the consequences E.G They don't love me anymore > they will leave me > I will be all alone > I will get depressed > I will get sick > I will die arrrggg! Once we start on a negative train of though it always leads to I will die. this is our unconscious reaction to a painful event.
So when you partner ignores you and as soon as you realise you feel stressed or catch your self thinking 'why are they ignoring me' realise the meaning you are putting to the event and supply a positive meaning, such as I now have more quiet time for my self, or better still simply 'I am'. Which means in this moment, I am. this is very powerful for there is an absence of any meaning, just simply the only fact there is. P.S The event is not that they are ignoring you, for this is a judgement (a meaning), the event is that they are there doing whatever they are doing (sitting, standing, walking, working or whatever, which is neutral) and you are where you are, just being I am.
P.S.S The deper underlying emotion is one of vulnerability, so repeat to yourself 'I am safe' this helps turn off the fight/flight mechanism which produces the stress response.
cheers
Thanks for your response. I do try to think more positive thoughts in these events, and you'd think I'd learn by now because it has happened enough times where I should have learned it is not a big deal. I try to tell myself that but I still let my train of thought go towards the negative side sometimes. Thanks :)
 

Top