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Old 11-29-2010, 07:17 PM
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Default what do you do when you are angry and cant say anything.

I made a discovery this evening.... When I get mad, and cant show it, or cant say whats on my mind... I eat... I was in a situation today that really really angered me, but I knew that i couldnt say or do anything about the situation without making the whole situation worse.. I stewed and stewed and cried most of the day... I finally gave in tonight and ate some nasty gooey mexican chicken tortilla stuff... taste great, I love cheese...but so not good for me at all... Not good for my weight or for my health.... Everything about this dish said no all over it... I shouldnt have eaten it, and will probably throw it back up, or hurt all night..... but I feel better.. I am still mad, but I feel like I was able to vent by eating.... How do I stop doing this... I have done so well so far, and have lost 31 pounds in three months.... I dont want to start gaining any of it back, and this is a bad habit that needs to get broke fast (amazing that it took me this long to realize what I do.... I bet I started over thirty five years ago)
What do you do when you are angry and arent in a position to blow off stem at the situation???? any good ideas????
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Old 11-29-2010, 08:12 PM
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.... When I get mad, and cant show it, ... I eat... I stewed and stewed ... I finally gave in tonight and ate some nasty gooey mexican chicken tortilla stuff... Everything about this dish said no all over it... I shouldnt have eaten it, and will probably throw it back up, or hurt all night..... but I feel better.. I am still mad, but I feel like I was able to vent by eating....

How do I stop doing this... I have done so well so far, and have lost 31 pounds in three months.... I dont want to start gaining any of it back, and this is a bad habit that needs to get broke fast (amazing that it took me this long to realize what I do.... I bet I started over thirty five years ago)
What do you do when you are angry and arent in a position to blow off stem at the situation???? any good ideas????
Hi justme! First let me start by congratulating you for your weight loss, thirty one pounds is a very substantial amount to lose, kudos!

You say you felt better after you ate, but that feeling is very short-lived, especially if you see the scale numbers going up again. Whatever you do, please don't throw it up, that's just adding insult to injury as far as your body is concerned.

When it comes down to it, the only person you have to answer to for any of your actions is yourself. Eating excessively is a bad habit, just like smoking or alcoholism. Everyone has their own little voice inside of them that knows the right thing to do in situations, the negative voice that says 'go ahead, what the heck, you deserve it' is always there too, and needs to be first acknowledged, and then shut down. It's like the drinker who's 'on the wagon' using any excuse to have another drink, he's celebrating and deserves one, or he's angry and needs one.

I know you've heard the expression 'in acceptance is peace'. If you couldn't voice your anger, or do anything constructive to diffuse the situation, then just take a deep breath, accept and move on.

Keep on getting healthy, you've come so far and you shouldn't let anger reactions interfere with your goals. Don't spite yourself, keep on loving yourself.

PS: It took you this long to 'realize' what you do, because it's only now that you really care.
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Old 11-29-2010, 08:49 PM
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One of the problems women have is voicing who they are. You should be able to voice your anger. If you are not violent then how other people react is their responsibility not yours... unless its children of course.

Women need to open their throats and speak their truth, which is what they feel inside. We are always so afraid that those around us will not love us due to negatives.. We allow ourselves to repress ourselves which is not healthy. Even negative things should not be repressed but expressed and worked upon openly.

It can be hard to open up and speak your truth after a lifetime of repression and of training that we are not good enough, worthy enough to be who we really are, even it it contains some anger or something negative. If you voice your anger in time you will find ways to more creatively channel it.. because you will be impowered instead of repressed.... thats how I see it anyway
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Old 11-29-2010, 09:52 PM
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thanks ladies! K2C... I dont throw up on purpose!!! believe me... its not a good thing.. I had my stomach stapled back in 1990. and every once in a great while, food doesnt set well, and it ends up coming back up (my main problems were bread rice and noodles... It hasnt happened in a long long time, I figured because i stretched the pouch back out. But then i started back trying to lose weight... i cut back on my food intake, and stopped eating processed carbs, So a few weeks ago, I ate a cheese burger..with the bun...something I havent done for awhile... and i found myself back to the throwing up issues... Except now when I do it, (about 3 times in the last two months) I am having a fair amount of blood in the mix. So no, throwing up on purpose is not somthing I want to do...I am very afraid of messing something up worse then it already is.

The situation involved some decisions that my children made concerning their children.. In my opinion, their selfishness is causing pain in my grandchildrens lives and it just pisses the tar out of me... Midlife crisises are setting in, and two of my children are in the throws of divorces... and the grandchildren are paying the price while they go on their merry way... I have a good relationship with both my daughter in laws, and if I get mad and run my mouth and tell them what I really think of the whole dern situations, then I will lose the ability to see my grandchildren... So for the grandchildrens sake, I have to keep my mouth shut...In my opinion, they need a stable force in their lives, and I am about the most stable one they have... I need to stay as close to them as I can, so I keep my mouth shut... Today was just really hard.. I think some choices they made will be detrimental to one of my grandkids self esteem (self confidence maybe)...but if I run my mouth and voice my opinion and concerns... I may burn bridges that I cant afford to be burned...
So instead.. I ate... and am now frustrated with myself... but tomorrow is a new day. and I guess I go to bed one step closer to my goal weight, because I learned something else that I do that sabatoges my weight..and now i am going to learn how to fix it... Im not sure what I will do, but I am going to have to find something... maybe I need to buy a punching bag
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Old 11-30-2010, 06:30 AM
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... maybe I need to buy a punching bag
...and stick a picture of your least favorite politician on it, that will help to rid you of your anger. Might also help lose a few more calories as well.
Congratulations on your weight loss so far.
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Old 11-30-2010, 09:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by just me View Post
thanks ladies! K2C... I dont throw up on purpose!!! believe me... its not a good thing.. I had my stomach stapled back in 1990. and every once in a great while, food doesnt set well, and it ends up coming back up (my main problems were bread rice and noodles... It hasnt happened in a long long time, I figured because i stretched the pouch back out. But then i started back trying to lose weight... i cut back on my food intake, and stopped eating processed carbs, So a few weeks ago, I ate a cheese burger..with the bun...something I havent done for awhile... and i found myself back to the throwing up issues... Except now when I do it, (about 3 times in the last two months) I am having a fair amount of blood in the mix. So no, throwing up on purpose is not somthing I want to do...I am very afraid of messing something up worse then it already is.

The situation involved some decisions that my children made concerning their children.. In my opinion, their selfishness is causing pain in my grandchildrens lives and it just pisses the tar out of me... Midlife crisises are setting in, and two of my children are in the throws of divorces... and the grandchildren are paying the price while they go on their merry way... I have a good relationship with both my daughter in laws, and if I get mad and run my mouth and tell them what I really think of the whole dern situations, then I will lose the ability to see my grandchildren... So for the grandchildrens sake, I have to keep my mouth shut...In my opinion, they need a stable force in their lives, and I am about the most stable one they have... I need to stay as close to them as I can, so I keep my mouth shut... Today was just really hard.. I think some choices they made will be detrimental to one of my grandkids self esteem (self confidence maybe)...but if I run my mouth and voice my opinion and concerns... I may burn bridges that I cant afford to be burned...
So instead.. I ate... and am now frustrated with myself... but tomorrow is a new day. and I guess I go to bed one step closer to my goal weight, because I learned something else that I do that sabatoges my weight..and now i am going to learn how to fix it... Im not sure what I will do, but I am going to have to find something... maybe I need to buy a punching bag
That is a very tough position to be in and I admire your ability to keep your opinions to yourself right now. Just goes to show ya, you have a lot of inner strength when it comes to the level of love you feel for your grandchildren.

A punching bag is a fabulous idea, get the longer version bag & put a picture of a butt on it. You could recall the things your daughter-in-laws are doing/saying to motivate a kickboxing workout
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Old 12-01-2010, 07:52 PM
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Well, the good news is, that I was able to curb my anger and my eating, enough that I didnt gain any weight...So my weight loss for the month of November stands at 10 pounds... for the three month period Ive lost 32 pounds (maybe 31, have to go back and look) and i still got up on the tredmill and did my walking all the days... so Im finally getting my stuff together!!! I am so proud of me!!!!!
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Old 12-01-2010, 08:02 PM
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Well, the good news is, that I was able to curb my anger and my eating, enough that I didnt gain any weight...So my weight loss for the month of November stands at 10 pounds... for the three month period Ive lost 32 pounds (maybe 31, have to go back and look) and i still got up on the tredmill and did my walking all the days... so Im finally getting my stuff together!!! I am so proud of me!!!!!
You SHOULD be proud justme, keep it together and keep on fightin' the good fight!
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